I have a rather sweet tooth, some might say. And as we’re visiting the Land of the Free imminently, I’ve decided to put together a list of bars, ice creameries, and restaurants serving the best in corn syrupy melted chocolate goodness America has to offer. From mason jars filled with cake batter to milkshakes cupcakes featuring celebs of the day, it’s fair to say I’m excited about getting Type II diabetes on my return.
Jars by Dani // 540 6th Avenue, New York
I don’t understand the ‘It’s Jarty Time!’ strapline but why no one in London has done this before is a joke, really. It’s a mason jar of cream, cake, brownie, frosting, sprinkles and lots more American-y goodness. They’re themed for Christmas, Hannukah, Valentine’s and of course everyday eating. The jars keep for months when frozen and up to three weeks in the fridge. I’m tempted to see whether they’ll survive the transatlantic flight home. If I freeze the jars beforehand they should be ok in the cold cargo hold of the plane, right? You know what? I’m willing to give it a go. For science!
Cupcake Market // 75th East 7th Street, New York
I don’t know who wouldn’t want to eat a take a bite out of Kim Kardashian in her full-on breakdown face. I don’t know who wouldn’t want to lick Donald Trump’s face. I don’t know why someone might not like the idea of lobotomising a cookie Hillary Clinton. I don’t know. I’m buying a set for my sister, and a set for me, and also another set. Also for me. And also another set for me.
Sugar Factory // 835 Washington Street, New York
Crazy cocktails, doughnuts with all kinds of frosting, milkshakes with pretzels and a veritable D-list parade of celebrities to grace its doors, it’s pretty clear I need to drink one of these pick ‘n’ mix style cocktails. If Willy Wonka chased celebrity fame and ended up collaborating with a Kardashian, this would be the result. Because for some inexplicable reason, Sugar Factory HAS teamed up with the reality star to sell a line of Couture Pops. Whatever. I’m only in it for the cocktails.
The Bagel Store // 754 Metropolitan Avenue, Brooklyn, New York
When Londoners swamped the streets of Brick Lane for a chance to eat a rainbow bagel, it was all too much. Mere weeks after opening, the store shut down for good, with people who’d ordered their doughy pillows of circular heaven getting nothing more than a refund and a ‘naff off, we’re done with you!’ by the owners. Fortunately, the NYC store can cope with the demand of a city’s plans to Instagram the crapola out of their product and they’re still being made to this day. So we will go. And we will feast. And we will report back, and we will BRING some back. If you want one, let me know and I’ll see what I can do. Note: I will more than likely eat the bagels before they even touch the suitcase they’ll be returning in.
Ice & Vice // 221 East Broadway, New York
Experimental ice cream. What could go wrong? Persian Cola, Sumac Jaggery, Corn, Chlorophyll, Lava… all available at their little walk-in gelateria. Sure we’re heading to NYC in late December, sure it’s snowing out there already, and sure it’s going to be in the minus Celcius. But it’s not every day you get to experience Kalamansi and Olive Oil Sorbet, or Buttered Popcorn Ice Cream, or even Whisky and Cracker Jack Brittle, right?
Black Tap // 248 West 14th Street, New York
I’m not comfortable with their use of SWAG so copiously plastered all over their website and branding, and I’m not particularly fond of places that don’t use the currency sign on their menus (BURGER 16 | COLA 3 | FRIES 8) like, JUST USE THE CURRENCY YOU AREN’T FOOLING ANYONE INTO BELIEVING YOUR PRICES ARE AFFORDABLE BY LEAVING IT OUT but I do respect their candy floss milkshake, and I must try it. For $15 (see how easy that was?!) punters can choose one of five Crazy Shakes, each more Instagrammable than the last. And also, I’m assuming, quite delicious to the sweet shop aficionado, such as myself.