Review: Thai Square Spa Covent Garden

It’s fair to say that recently I’ve been a little stressed. I’ve had three of the most stressful ‘life events’ happen in a very short space of time, so when the opportunity to visit Thai Square Spa Covent Garden arose, I jumped at the chance.

A short meander from the tube station through the seemingly never-ending back streets of Covent Garden led me to the pristine-looking front doors, complete with Buddha.

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A happy beginning

Now I have a confession to make. I have never had a Thai massage. Ever. So I was thoroughly looking forward to this one. After checking in at reception and realising I was 30 minutes early I settled down and start relaxing, only to be interrupted by a rather flustered masseuse.

After she had calmed down, she told the manager her client had requested a Thai massage of the sexy variety, with a ‘happy ending’. I couldn’t help but laugh. He’d obviously been watching too many online, er, films and had expected something completely different.

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‘What do you mean they were four sizes too big?’

Back to my massage (I did not request special treatment as I am not a filth bag), and I was slipping deeper and deeper into my relaxation trousers. These weren’t metaphoric trousers, they were ACTUAL trousers, about four sizes too big. [Editor’s note: After much questioning when reading this, I deduced these are in fact fisherman’s pants – can you tell David has never been to Asia?]

As I sat and unwound waiting for my name to be called, some cool water combined with the music, the ambience and tranquillity made me a walking lump of jelly. AND I LOVED IT.

After a short wait Bow arrived, my Thai masseuse. We tootled along to the room, and I got comfy on the table.

Destroyed by a tiny Thai

What followed was nothing short of awesome. Granted Bow made me bend and stretch muscles I never even knew I had in ways totally unnatural to man, but it was very, very good. After a brief chat she explained she’d be going quite hard on me (no sniggering please children), but even so, I did not expect a four foot nothing Thai woman to essentially destroy me. From head to toe – literally – even sinew in my body was prodded, massaged and released.

The highlight had to be when she kneeled on the back of my calves and bent me backwards. I yelped like a little girl, but after some soothing work it felt great. My massage lasted an hour, yet it felt like longer.

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The perils of working in an office

When she had finished Bow explained her reason for being so hard on me. ‘Very tight in shoulders and neck’. And this got me thinking. So many people I know spend their days in front of a computer or hunched over a desk. We may think we are being careful with posture, but it’s not until you’re on a massage table you truly realise the physical stress your body endures.

Thai Square Spa is perfect for people looking to treat a loved one or pamper yourself. The location makes it easily accessible to most Londonites, and the service and results will speak for themselves. We will most certainly be back for more!

Thai Square Spa

25 Shelton Street, Covent Garden, London WC2H 9HW