Why are Kinder Eggs banned in America?

Why are Kinder Eggs banned in America?

Guys. Guys. Kinder Eggs as we know them are banned in America. I know, I was shocked too. In fact, not only are they impossible to buy, you can be fined heavily for attempting to bring them into the country.

In June 2012 , Customs and Border Protection held two Seattle men, Brandon and Christopher, in a Canadian border detention centre for over two hours after officials discovered six Kinder Surprise eggs in their car. They had picked up the treats to bring back home for friends and family.

The fine for carrying over such illegal contraband is around $2,100 PER EGG, according to Brandon,and they’d have been charged the full $12,600. EIGHT GRAND in our Great British Pounds.

But why would a land of Fast Food Freedom, Bear Arms Hope, and Confectionery For Breakfast Glory ban such an iconic treat?

For any American readers who have no idea what we’re on about, Kinder Eggs, or Kinder Suprise, or Kinder Sopresa (they are an Italian product after all (this means Nutella is definitely pronounced Noo-tella to all those Nut fans out there)) are a chocolate egg-shaped shell, inside which is a small, often impenetrable, egg-shaped casing, containing a small toy.

These range from collectable animals (anyone remember the terrapins and hippos from the 90s?) to interactive toys you assemble yourself. It’s a total surprise as to what you’ll get. Seriously, you can keep your Snoop Doggs and Googles. We’re all about Kinder Egg love over here.

So why are Kinder Eggs banned?

The FDA says a confectionery product with ‘a non-nutritive object, partially or totally embedded within it, cannot be sold within the United States.’ A Kinder Egg falls into that bracket, and as ‘the sale of any candy that has embedded in it a toy or trinket’ is banned, they are illegal and have been since the act was introduced in 1938.

In 2012, they helpfully explained why: the ‘consumer may unknowingly choke on the object’ upon eating.

Basically, the government in America believes the youth of their country aren’t smart enough to realise shoving an entire chocolate sphere the size of a large goose egg down their gullet without attempting to chew or find out what the heavy rattling object within might be isn’t a good idea.

Despite the fact no human adult, let alone child, could possibly swallow such a massive object, The US feels many base their eating habits upon pelicans, hamsters, and indeed boa constrictors.

They also neglect the fact many natural objects of similar size contain stones smaller and more chokeable than the Kinder treat. Enter murder drupes such as olives, peaches, plums, and cherries.

I don’t know. I was horrified, and this is why I’ve devoted my evening and almost 500 words explaining this atrocity.

America. A land where owning and carrying firearms that are capable of killing and dismembering your fellow man is the norm and a god-given right, but eating a Kinder Egg is illegal and could land you with an £8k fine.