WARNING: Those not a fan of swearing, sarcasm and the word bossy, please look away now. This is the only time I’ll say you can skip a post, btw.
|synonyms:||domineering, dominating, overbearing, imperious, masterful, autocratic, autarchic, officious, high-handed, high and mighty, authoritarian, dictatorial, strict, harsh, severe, iron-handed, controlling, despotic, tyrannical, draconian, oppressive, subjugating, undemocratic, anti-democratic;|
With Victoria Beckham and numerous other celebrities all saying Bossy should be banned, are we in danger of guilting strong-willed women into making them feel ashamed of being authoritative leaders? Is banning a word really the answer, or should we be doing more with young girls to help them feel secure, no matter whether they love being in control or following direction from others? Surely more women who know what they want and how to lead a team is only ever going to be a good thing?
We asked Erica, our self-proclaimed strong-willed writer, to give her opinion on the Bossy dilemma.
Queen Bey says “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.” I say, “What’s the difference?” and also “What the hell is wrong with being bossy?” and more importantly, “Well I am a boss bitch, Bey, so you just calm your tits now.”
Seriously, I am a bit of a bitch; I don’t have a censor between brain and mouth, and I say what I think. Some call it ‘being honest,’ some call it ‘a mean streak,’ but you know what? Just don’t. Because I am ‘being a bossy cow.’
And you want to know something else? Those words don’t define me, offend me or undermine me – if anything, instead they empower me, so puuuhhlleeeaase don’t stop calling me that now.
Some really popular-on-the-Internet women want to ban the word ‘bossy’ from being used to describe other women, because of the damaging long-term affect the word has when… what? It’s taken the wrong way? When it causes offence? I can kindasortamaybeatastretch see where they’re coming from, but I’ve personally never taken offence to the word ‘bossy’. Because, and this may come as a surprise to no-one reading this, I’ve always been called bossy, and it’s sure as shit not bothered me none.
If anything, being called bossy from an early age has encouraged me to become a strong, independent women; one who does not censor herself for anyone, nor give two fucks about what other people think of her.
Ohhh, it’s a gender bias thing! The powerful men are being called Leaders, and yet the powerful women are branded as Bossy! Now I get it; it’s a feminism thing! That old chestnut. No. It’s not. It’s really not you guys. Cos… I know plenty of dudes who are more bitchy than me, I swear. It’s not a gender thing, because I 100% guarantee that you call your guy-boss bossy and he will be just as un-offended than if you call your fierce lady-boss bossy. Either of them will probably love the fact that you’ve used up your precious emotion to describe them, because that totally means you’re a wimp, but they will not be offended.
I’ve been in leadership roles before – albeit ones that involved the management and care of some of life’s real underachievers, but in a leadership role nonetheless. Ergo, I was The Boss. To fulfil the requirements of being The Boss, I had to employ a certain level of bossiness. I mean, the meek shall inherent the earth and whatnot, but they wouldn’t last a day in fashion retail management, that’s for damn sure. These jobs have always needed someone in them who possessed a certain level of ‘I don’t give a fuck what you think, just do what I said” and luckily for me, my levels are exceptionally high.
I’m proud of that fact, because I earned that confidence.
I own bossy.
Ohhh, we’re talking about the self-esteem of young girls, not just me and my loud mouth! Well, in that case, there are about a gazillion more important problems that need to be addressed before worrying about the words we’re using to describe strong women. How about promoting body confidence at a younger age by restricting their exposure to 99% of the popular media available to them, or introducing a balanced diet of school lunches that doesn’t consist of mostly-complex carbs and saturate fats, or educating young girls on some of the awesome, powerful jobs they can have if they want them.
Let’s maybe address some actual, national problems like obesity or unemployment or why my internet drops out all the fucking time, and not how to avoid offending Beyonce next time you accidentally call her bossy.
It really is hard out here for a bitch. Oh hey, except when it’s not.